BLOG TOUR – GUEST POST & GIVEAWAY: “How to Train Your Dom in Five Easy Steps” by Josephine Myles
Guest post and giveaway by Josephine Myles: The happy submissive
Part of the How to Train Your Dom in Five Easy Steps Blog Tour
I recently received a pre-release review for How to Train Your Dom in Five Easy Steps, where the reviewer commented that “submissive Eddie knew what he wanted from the start. He was sure of himself, but never pushy or needy. Eddie was a real go-getter of a sub.” Jenni at Boys in Our Books
I’m sincerely glad the reviewer enjoyed this aspect of Eddie’s character, but it got me thinking…it does seem a little sad that it’s unusual enough to warrant comment. After all, the subs I’ve met are all smart, capable people who know what they want out of life. Why are they so often portrayed otherwise in BDSM fiction?
I wonder if it really boils down to the popularity of certain tropes. The trope of the “novice submissive” is everywhere, which is why I wanted to turn it on its head and have a novice Dom paired with an extremely experienced submissive. But it’s not just that trope that’s all pervasive. So much BDSM fiction is dark, the characters struggling with angst and previous abuse—it’s often this abuse that is blamed as the cause for their submissive (or dominant) tendencies.
Okay, that’s all very well in fiction—I’m not much of an angst fan myself although I can understand why it’s so popular—but it just doesn’t gel with what I’ve seen of BDSM in the real world. Most kinky types are in it for fun rather than therapy, and what’s wrong with that? Okay, so a great scene can be cathartic and bring up strong emotions, but it can also be filled with joy and laughter. I’ve met one Dom whose sub often starts giggling when he hurts her. Yes, she really does enjoy it that much.
So when I wrote Eddie I had this idea of the cheerful painslut in my head. Someone who doesn’t want to be flogged because he needs the emotional release, but instead because he really enjoys it. Eddie is a true masochist, gaining pleasure from the right kinds of pain (not all pain—as he says himself, headaches and toothaches are still hell, even for a painslut). Eddie also truly loves other aspects of submission, such as humiliation and bondage. It’s important to stress this, particularly when it comes to verbal and public humiliation. What’s featured in the novel is pretty light stuff (some name calling and being led around on a lead), but it really spices things up for Eddie. He relishes being treated in this way, at least within the confines of a scene. Insulting or disrespecting him outside of one, Jeff soon discovers just how much backbone his submissive has!
So anyway, hooray for the giggling painsluts, who deserve all the pain and domination their kinky little hearts’ desire.
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Readers, do you prefer your submissives to be happy or angsty, and why?
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The How to Train Your Dom in Five Easy Steps Blog Tour Giveaway!
I’m currently touring blog land, chatting about my latest Samhain Publishing release. Each post gives a unique insight into the book, and a lucky commenter will win a prize at every stop along the way. Winner’s choice of either:
- two of Jo’s backlist ebooks
- or a signed copy of Junk (or another backlist paperback, subject to availability) – shipping worldwide
Comment on this post for a chance to win today’s draw. The winning entry will be picked on [choose a date that suits you] and the winner will be notified by email within 48 hours.
Check out the full Blog Tour itinerary here: http://josephinemyles.com/published-stories/novels-and-novellas/how-to-train-your-dom-in-five-easy-steps/blog-tour/
Blurb:
Sometimes the little head really does know best.
Jeff White’s needs are simple. All he wants is a submissive to help him explore the dominant side that his ex-girlfriend couldn’t handle. Problem is, inexperience in both dating and domming has resulted in a string of rejections.
What he needs is an experienced sub willing to show him the ins and outs of controlling a scene. Unfortunately, the only one willing to take him on is male, and Jeff is straight. One hundred percent, never-gonna-happen straight.
Easygoing painslut Eddie Powell doesn’t care that Jeff is younger, working class, and shorter. Eddie likes a bit of rough, and Jeff fits the bill perfectly. The trick will be convincing him to follow Eddie’s five-step training programme—which would be easy if Eddie wasn’t starting to have feelings for the rough-around-the-edges landscaper.
Once Jeff lays his hands on Eddie, things definitely get out of hand. But it’ll take more than hot, sweaty, kinky sex to persuade him to come out of the closet—especially to himself.
Warning: Contains a happy sub, a confused Dom, a high ratio of sex to plot, misuse of root ginger, and a suitcase of kink. Written in Jo’s usual exceedingly “English” English.
Buy links:
Author bio:
English through and through, Josephine Myles is addicted to tea and busy cultivating a reputation for eccentricity. She writes gay erotica and romance, but finds the erotica keeps cuddling up to the romance, and the romance keeps corrupting the erotica. Jo blames her rebellious muse but he never listens to her anyway, no matter how much she threatens him with a big stick. She’s beginning to suspect he enjoys it.
Jo publishes regularly with Samhain. She has also been known to edit anthologies and self-publish on occasion.
Website and blog: http://josephinemyles.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/josephine.myles.author
Twitter: @JosephineMyles
Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/3499509.Josephine_Myles
Instagram: http://instagram.com/josephine_myles
Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/hrQ4s
Photo credits:
Puppy boy: MebS09 via photopin cc
Street fair men: torbakhopper via photopin cc
I read How To Train Your Dom and loved it. I liked that it was funny
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Thanks for the great post and the giveaway!
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Thanks for the post and contest! I don’t read a lot of d/s, but I think I prefer them to be happy. Although, it would really depend on the story…
jen.f {at} mac {dot} com
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I am a HUGE fan of dirty talk, so I can’t wait to read this!!
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Gotta love a bit of dirty talk! Used to make me blush when I wrote it, but I’ve got over that now :P
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I really want to read this one. It looks great!
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I don’t think I have a preference in what type of subs I’m reading about. As long as it fits the story I’m happy either way.
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I’ve been in the BDSM scene and I’ve read my fair share of BDSM related books and I must admit that most of them did not get the point of being either submissive or dominant. A little angst is good. Not all D/s relationships start with either having a tragic past. Which is what happens to most books. How to train your dom in five steps, is something different and I like that. Very nice book.
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Thanks, Nicole. That’s definitely the impression I’ve got after talking to plenty of people involved in the scene :)
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I would like to see more happy submissives! There’s so much “BDSM = broken people” in fiction, and I hate that. (Hell, “vanilla” sex isn’t always roses and kitties either, and that’s a common misconception too.) I think especially in m/m, there’s so much alpha-male stuff and handwringing over machismo or the lack thereof that subs are fraught to begin with–they shouldn’t have to be!
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Exactly. I suppose there’s probably a period of adjustment for novice subs getting used to the idea of giving up all control, but then again, if that’s what they’ve been lusting after then it should be an empowering and intensely pleasurable experience. It was fun to write a sub who knew exactly what he enjoyed and why, though :)
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I’m always in favour of happy people, and for me it’s necessary that the characters are enjoying themselves when playing a scene or suchlike. I loved Eddie in How to Train your Dom… and Maddie and Niall as well :-)
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I definitely enjoy reading BDSM more if the characters are having fun. Therapy isn’t something I’m so interested in reading about, I must admit.
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I think I like some of both. There are times when I in the mood for a super dark book, whether it’s kinky or not, but other times, I really want something that’s just plain fun.
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I definitely think there’s a market for both. It’s just at the moment there aren’t so many books that give the lighter side of BDSM. Looks like I’ll have to write more myself!
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I have just finished How to Train Your Dom in Five Easy Steps and I’ve liked it quite a lot. BDSM is not my thing, that’s why it is surprising that I’ve found the book so entertaining. I really loved Eddie and Jeff. I found both endearing… albeit quite kinky. No doubt I am going to continue reading Josephine Myles’ books.
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That’s great you enjoyed it even though BDSM isn’t your thing–there were a lot of different kinks in there too!
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I love everything about this post. I would definitely agree that there is a lot of “working through emotions” and also submissives that are new to the scene. So I was thrilled to read the trope turned on its head (something Jo is known for) in that the Dom was the inexperienced one. I just finished How To Train Your Dom in Five Easy Steps (and wow I almost wrote How To Train Your Dragon LOL) anyway, I just finished it and enjoyed it immensely! Great work Jo!
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Yay–thank you!
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I love happy submissives in BDSM. A little angst is nice in all stories but being centered around the subs seems to occur a lot. I am looking forward to reading the about the inexperienced Dom in How to Train Your Dom in 5 Easy Steps!
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An angsty Dom would definitely be more interesting to read. I think I’ve just had enough of angsty subs, although I’ll give anything a try from a writer I already love :)
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I’ve always enjoyed my submissive a to be a little of both. It always makes for a more intriguing story.
Can’t wait to read this one, sounds fantastic.
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I’m loving How to Train your Dom….
I like my subs to have a bit of brat in them…. Brats have more fun, they enjoy there doms more and are a little more high maintenance….
I love that Eddie knows what he wants and goes for it…. He makes the perfect Sub for me….
geetracy1170 (at) gmail (dot) com
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Oh yes, bratty subs are fun. Most of my favourite BDSM books feature brats :)
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Typically I go for angsty. For me there’s more emotion and reasoning behind it. I love the “Why?”s of people and how they think so it’s more interesting to me than “happy”.
But if it’s ABOUT their submissiveness….I think I’d rather they be happy. Or really somewhere in between.
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I totally get where you’re coming from, Calila. There’s definitely a bigger market for angsty books than there is for lighthearted ones. Still, I have to write what I enjoy :)
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Am now really intrigued by this latest one – the idea of the cheerful sub and novice Dom sounds refreshing! :)
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Bought the book, and really enjoyed it. Eddie is a fantastic character. Usually anything about submissives turns me off. I read a few books that seem to be nothing more than making a prisoner of some badly damaged young man, did not like them at all. So for me this book actually made sense, because of Eddie. Well done you. (Oh, and I do not need to go into a draw for a copy)
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Thanks! I suspect it’s that potential for a D/s relationship to be read as abuse that makes the really damaged submissives troubling to me, too.
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I think happy. Thanks for the contest!
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I like happy. I’m still waiting for Samhain to come back online so I can buy the new book. It sounds wonderful. I can’t wait. :-)
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The Samhain site is MEANT to be back online today, but who knows? Very frustrating they decided to do the site upgrade the day after my book released! Thanks for waiting for it :)
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I like them happy and angsty if the story is good. I think both can be useful in a BDSM story.
Jczlapin at gmail dot com
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I’ll rather see happy subs than angsty subs a majority of the time. I do like angst but with BDSM books I find that happy subs make me more comfortable and glad so see (don’t ask me why, it just is for me).
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Perhaps it’s that hard-to-shake niggle that the sub is being taken advantage of if they’re not already a secure, well-balanced person…
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Sounds great!! Thanks for the giveaway.
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I never gave it much thought before. I have no real life experience with the BDSM scene or anyone who’s into it (that I know), but hell yeah, I think happy and fun makes sense, no matter what kind of sex or sexy play is going on. Sure, it means the opposite is true, that it gets heavy and emotional, but I’m all for balance and love seeing an author capture the other side of the coin, not in just atmosphere of BDSM but the knowledgeable submissive and the inexperienced Dom. I’m looking forward to reading it!
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This is still in my TBR queue as I don’t want to rush it :D but all your blog posts have certainly wetted my appetite. I think it will “suddenly” jump to the top of my list this weekend!
Cheers for the giveaway and keep up the good work.
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