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ASEXUAL AWARENESS WEEK: I’m Learning…

happy-asexual-awareness-week

I’m so thankful for books. They can take us to faraway places, introduce us to amazing characters, and expand our minds and lives into richer areas. Reading m/m romance has changed my life…and it continues to in the best ways. Not more than a year ago, I had no idea what it meant to be asexual. And now, my favorite book of the year (“How to be a Normal Person”) is written by an asexual author (TJ Klune) and has an asexual main character! This is not a pat on the back…it’s a testament. I’m learning.

This week, I saw a video of the GRL Panel with authors TJ Klune, Abi Roux, and SA McAuley. Within the first 5 minutes, I was already challenged. TJ introduced himself as a “sex-positive, homo-romantic asexual”. Abi introduced herself as “sorta on a spectrum between asexual and not giving a shit” :). SAM introduced herself as a “demi-romantic, bisexual”. Ok…huh? I paused the video and immediately went to the internet and started searching. And yet again, I’m learning.

So, to close out Asexual Awareness Week at Boys in our Books, we’ll leave you with the video of this great panel…discussing sexual fluidity, gender fluidity and more in romance books. And we’ll also leave you with a glossary of some terms & definitions. ENJOY!

If you’d like to learn more about AAW, please check out http://asexualawarenessweek.com/.

 

 

Glossary (from http://www.asexualityarchive.com/)

Abstinence: Not participating in sexual activity (often specifically partnered sexual activity) by choice.

Ace: Colloquial abbreviation of “asexual”.  Often used to refer to asexual people in a similar manner as “gay” or “straight” are used to refer to homosexual or heterosexual people.

Ace Spectrum:  The grouping of asexual, demisexual, and gray-asexual under a single umbrella of related sexual orientation.

Aesthetic Attraction:  Non-sexual/non-romantic attraction to the way someone looks.  Often described as the desire to “admire someone like a painting”, but not necessarily anything further.

Affectional Orientation:  See “Romantic Orientation”.

Antisexual:  General dislike of sexuality or sexual activity, including instances where other people are involved.  Often accompanied by the belief that sex or sexuality in any form is “bad” or “wrong”.  Antisexual views should not be confused with asexuality.

Aromantic:  A romantic orientation characterized by a persistent lack of romantic attraction toward any gender.

Arousal:  Being “turned on”, generally accompanied by a physical genital response, such as erection and/or lubrication.

Asexuality:  A sexual orientation characterized by a persistent lack of sexual attraction to any gender.

Biromantic:  A romantic orientation characterized by romantic attraction to both males and females.

Bisexual: A sexual orientation characterized by sexual attraction to both males and females.

Black Ring:  When worn on the middle finger of the right hand, a black ring is an indicator that a person is asexual.

Celibacy:  Not participating in sexual activity (often specifically partnered sexual activity) for any reason, not necessarily because of a personal choice.

Demiromantic: A demiromantic does not experience romantic attraction unless they have already formed a strong emotional bond with the person.

*Demisexual:  A demisexual does not experience sexual attraction unless they have already formed a strong emotional bond with the person.  The bond may or may not be romantic in nature.  Please note that there is a difference between demisexuality, which involves attraction, and “I don’t have sex unless I love someone”, which has to do with behavior.

Grace: A colloquial abbreviation of “Gray-Asexual”.

Gray-A: A colloquial abbreviation of “Gray-Asexual”.

*Gray-Asexual:  A gray-asexual may infrequently experience sexual attraction or may experience low sexual desire, yet will generally identify as being close to asexual.  Gray-asexuals differ from demisexuals in that demisexuals will require an emotional bond before experiencing attraction, yet graces do not necessarily require a bond.  The word “gray” comes from the “gray area” between asexuality and non-asexuality.

Heteroromantic:   A romantic orientation characterized by romantic attraction to the opposite gender.

Heterosexual:  A sexual orientation characterized by sexual attraction to the opposite gender.

Homoromantic: A romantic orientation characterized by romantic attraction to the same gender.

Homosexual:  A sexual orientation characterized by sexual attraction to the same gender.

*Lithromantic:  Someone who experiences romantic attraction, but does not desire reciprocation.

Panromantic: A romantic orientation characterized by romantic attraction to any gender.

Pansexual: A sexual orientation characterized by sexual attraction to any gender.

Romantic Attraction:  A sense of “I would like to be involved in a romantic relationship with that person”.  (Please note that “romantic” in this context does not necessarily mean flowers and sunsets on the beach and candlelit dinners.)

Romantic Orientation:  A description of the gender or genders (or lack thereof) that one experiences romantic attraction towards.

Sexual Attraction:  A sense of “I would like to engage in sexual activity with that person”.

Sexual Orientation:  A description of the gender or genders (or lack thereof) that one experiences sexual attraction towards.

 

*Definitions marked with a star should be considered provisional and are in need of review and confirmation of accuracy.

One comment on “ASEXUAL AWARENESS WEEK: I’m Learning…

  1. El @ Just Love
    October 23, 2015

    Thank you so much for highlighting great ace books over the last week!

    Liked by 2 people

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