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To conclude “Pent Up” Week here at Boys in our Books, we’ve invited author Damon Suede to participate in our Question of the Week. So, here’s his question and all our answers!
“What urge always gets the better of you?”
Disobedience. I have a streak of impish willfulness that makes me misbehave even when I know it will land me in the soup. I’ve been that way since I was a small kid: poking sore spots, needling bullies, and rattling cages. Not for nothing did I spend my days as an actor playing devils, seducers, and tricksters… Disruption gives me so much visceral joy. In a way I think I see the whole world as a piñata and I’ve got the big stick in my hands ready to swing at a moment’s notice.
I’d make a terrible soldier and a cubicle might actually snuff me out like a candle. That defiant urge takes hold of me at the most embarrassing and precarious moments. Thankfully, my friends know it’s always there percolating under my surface. It’s my great strength and mortal flaw. It drives all my writing and most of my personal relationships. Provocative misbehavior satisfies me in ways that are addictive and crazy because it’s absolutely hardwired into my psyche.
Online Shopping. I honestly can’t stop myself. It’s my answer for everything…happiness, sadness, loneliness, boredom, necessity. I am auto-logged into Amazon on my phone app, my laptop, my ipad…so whenever that urge hits…
I had to think about this one a lot. It’s a really hard question to answer without sounding like a complete ass, and be honest at the same time. But we’re all friends here, right? So, I have a really bad temper. If you know me and have never witnessed it, count yourself lucky. I sometimes have a major urge to let myself go and let that temper run free. Sadly, or maybe thankfully, it mostly happens when only my husband it around. He’s understanding and gets me like no one else does, so I’m always forgiven. That does not mean I like it when it happens. I always feel so badly after, but sometimes? Sometimes emotions will not stay contained, and when I see things that upset me, when I can’t do something bout them, the frustration becomes so volatile that I just have to let it out.
Curiosity. I’ve gotten myself into trouble a time or two with my ‘I’ll try anything once’ attitude. Errrr wait, maybe that should be stupidity? :P
I’d say a) online shopping and b) buying strange snacks that may be delicious and/or terrible.I just can’t help but try them!
For me, I think it’s my insecurities…
I’m not a very confident person, and being insecure leads me to do all the things that affect me in a bad way. I overthink, because what’s life without losing sleep over silly stuff, right?
I compare myself to others a lot, because the grass is always greener on the other side, and what’s life if you don’t see it.
I also double guess my decisions a lot, and tend to feel guilty over things I did, even if they’re not wrong. The pleaser in me freaks out if someone tells me that X wasn’t expected of me, and woah how dare I.
Surprisingly, I’m not a very jealous person, but whenever I feel like that I never show it. I might be insecure, but I’m also too proud.
All of these ends up with me feeling crappy, in a bad mood and avoiding the world for a few days until I get my shit together.